Obviously this list could be a lot longer. But here is some information that I hope is helpful to you:
Frequent Conflict and Arguing
Studies show that couples who argue a lot are not necessarily headed towards divorce. In fact, sometimes couples who are locked in this pattern will learn how to adapt to their differences and be much happier five years down the line. The presence of frequent conflict, though it sometimes makes partners feel badly about themselves, is not a strong predictor of divorce unless it is accompanied by other qualities. (See section on Gottman Research).
What’s most important here, is to realize that if you learned how to argue, you can learn how not to argue. You have that power within you and I can teach you the steps, skills and strategies to live in more harmony with your partner. One cautionary note: it does take work and perseverance with yourself.
Avoidance Patterns
Sometimes couples come to counseling because one partner wants more contact and intimacy than the other partner. This could be a natural difference in rhythm, needs and temperament. It is important that the therapist do a comprehensive assessment in this situation, as always.
One thing that can be problematic, is when both partners bring avoidant tendencies to the relationship. In this case, the relationship might suffer due to unresolved conflicts that keep piling up. This situation can lead to the demise of the relationship if there is no way for misunderstandings and changes to be managed in the relationship. The sooner these types of couple get help the better.
Addiction
14% of the adult population suffers from addiction problems. It is commonly stated that one addicted individual strongly affects the lives of 8-14 people around them. There is no greater example that that of marital partners.
Although there is no cure for addiction, we do know a lot now about how to help individuals and couples deal with these issues. A therapist trained and experienced in chemical dependency, can show the couple the path toward healing.
Sexual Issues
Sex can easily become a bone of contention in any intimate partnership. When we meet someone there is no guarantee that their sexual appetite is going to be the same as ours. How many people can say they frequently feel like sex at the exact same time as their partner does? This natural state of affairs can lead to much frustration for couples and is a common reason why couples seek help. It is important to understand and accept that individual differences in sexual interest are normal. Through a careful assessment, the therapist can devise a plan to help the couple improve their compatibility in this area.